Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Resolutions update, June 2006.

After mentioning my wife in the last post, I think It's about time for this update (knowing very well that at this time of the year, few people can spell the word "resolutions" correctly, leave alone remembering what they had resolved).

Resolution 1. NO DRINKING.
Drinking here means serious consumption of alcohol. I proud to say that I have managed to remain totally alcohol free up to now. I have not tasted any this year despite the improvement of my financial condition. My wife thinks its a miracle while my parents don't believe it.

Resolution 2. NO SMOKING.
I broke this resolution a long time ago. However, I've not gone beyond 2 sticks a day, on average. Sometimes I can go for up to a week without a drag. I am not scared of the new law banning smoking in public in Kenya because I never smoke in public anyway. May be I will quit once and for all next year, huh?

Resolution 3. NO PHILANDERING.
I am still clean, thank God. There's a problem though... My wife thinks I sleep around. Yes, I admit that I'm a little bit too social (especially with girls) for her liking but who said that a man sleeps with every woman he flirts with? I'm just an ordinary guy, the kind you wouldn't notice in a crowd, and I don't understand why girls (and quite a number of older women) seem so attracted to me. Sex has been offered openly and for free (in case you were thinking otherwise). There are times it got close... down to caressing an exposed "honey pot" once, but I always managed to keep on dry land. Hey, a guy can get tempted, you know! I secretly blame her for some of these cases even if there's no evidence because some of her close friends know that I'm big where it matters and that I can last forever... how could they have known? Problem is, they want a piece of the action! I,ve tried to convince my wife of my innocence but she doesn't believe (or so she says because we always end up getting jiggy with it). I will NOT break this resolution.

PS. My wife does not know of this blog. It is a deep personal secret and since none of you knows me, I'm safe. Did you say that this is not fair? You are right, but that's just the way it is...

8 Comments:

Anonymous Irena said...

Lol , ati what? "I secretly blame her for some of these cases even if there's no evidence because some of her close friends know that I'm big where it matters and that I can last forever..."
He he well the mama is just praising her Adonis to her detriment. No one knows you ? I would not be too comfortable, I keep reminding you I hail from those sides and with all the description on on this space, when I land at Kirurumo, haiya I might scourge around looking for that familiar ordinary villager blogger. No just kidding Mzee I would not do that but I can be curious ......
P/S Maybe the mamas are attracted to your way of telling a tale :-)

5:31 PM  
Blogger Kabinti said...

nothing wrong with tooting your own horn once in a while :o)

7:05 PM  
Blogger Ken said...

This blog is a brilliant idea though I think I know who you are.
-->Kudos on the beer thing, I havent been successfull on that one, please share some secrets.
As for philandering, we are all tempted by shiny apples, just keep of the limelight if u ever taste the forbiden fruit.
All the best.

1:17 PM  
Anonymous farmgal said...

mmmh very interesting blog!
will be reading...

2:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

having stopped alcohol out of your own will, i find it hard to believe you when it comes to the mamas. you seem to like them. try one !!

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, I AM GOING TO TELL YOUR WIFE, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK YOU!

3:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't forget finding love!

www.lovefindme.com is a new kenyan dating site for kenyans by kenyans. find love, happiness, and have a kenyan good time. ;)

2:27 AM  
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12:28 PM  

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